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A few precautions can increase your peace of mind
NINE-YEAR old Tan Chee keong of Ipoh, Malaysia, was waiting for his mother to pick him up at school one afternoon last year, when a man and woman approached him. "Your parents are busy and they asked us to fetch you," the man said. Chee Keong new he shouldn't go with strangers, so he ran toward the school's gymnasium, where he knew other students were gathered. The couple followed the boy, but fled before he reached the gym. Chee Keong was lucky---he sensed the danger before it was too late and knew what to do.
Kidnapping by a stranger is a relatively rare crime, but it does happen. For example, the Royal Malaysia Police says 2189 children were reported missing in Malaysia in 1996, the most recent statistic available, and experts agree that some of these children were abducted. "It is naive to think that children are always safe," says Sharene Wan, director of Safe-T-Child, a private organization in Malaysia that teaches children how to avoid becoming crime victims.
Emy Liwag, a developmental psychologist at the Wellness Center, a psychology clinic at the Ateneo de University in Manila, points out that children are vulnerable anywhere. "Recent rape-murder cases of children in rural areas here in the Phillipines highlight that crime is not limited to the city." More frequent crimes against children include theft and robbery. She says that more and more child crime victims are coming to the clinic for counseling.
Even in low-crime Singapore, authorities are taking the matter seriously. "Children need to be reminded constantly what to do to prevent and protect themselves," says Veronica Chan, head of crime prevention for the Singapore Police Force.
Indeed, when childrena are taught what to do at an early age, they have a much better chance of staying safe. Says Liwag, "This will go a long way to prevent them being victimized."
While that sounds simple enough, how do you do it without making your child fearful or paranoid? Emy Liwag and Sharene Wan agree that parents can help kids understand what they can do to protect themselves by making a game out of role playing various situations and acting out of the best response.
They also advise parents to do the following:
1. Teach the basics
There are certain things your child must learn as early as possible:
a. His or her full name, address and phone number, including area code.
b. Both parents full names.
c. How to dial the local emergency call number (Unplug your phone and let your child practice).
d. Where to go for help Coursesenu Ibrahim, assistant superintendent at the Crime Prevention Unit of the Royal Malaysia Police, says safe places include a trusted friend's house, the nearest busy shop or restaurant, a school or a police station. Accompany your child along along his route to school, for example, and point out which places are safe to go in case of an emergency.
HOW to say no. "Parents needs to teach children that is all right to say no to an adult if he does not feel comfortable with what the adult is doing to him," Ibrahim says.
If accosted by a stranger, he should yell. "This person is not my father (or mother)!" Kids who simply struggle and scream may appear to be having a tantrum.
This lesson is especially important in Asia because children are expected to obey and respect their elders, and can be easily led on by a strange, says Ibrahim.
2. Be Streetwise
Teach your child to play with a friend or in a group whenever possible. When walking to and from school, friends, houses or parks, kids should avoid dark, isolated areas such as vacant lots or buildings.
If your child senses that someone in a car is following him, he should turn around and head in the opposite direction. The driver is not likely to attract attention to himself by also turning around. Tell your child to stay at least 15 or 20 feet of them from the door of a vehicle if someone stops to talk or ask directions. (Demonstrate this distance) Emphasize that it's okay to say "I don't know" and walk away.
Caution your child to stay alert, walk confidentally and pay attention to his surroundings. Criminal are expert at spotting easy victims---kids who look lost, confused, sad or upset.
"If possible, when riding the bus," says the Singapore Police Force's Veronica Chan," a child should try to sit near the driver. He should be alert, and not fall asleep or get caught up in talking with friends. He should know where he is supposed to stop and go directly home when he gets off the bus.
Children should not wear expensive jewelry or watches. Tell your child to immediately surrender money or any other item that a mugger demands. He should not try to argue. The thief may have a weapon.
3. Be school-smart
While the situation at your child's school may not seem dangerous, don't assume that he is safe there. Attend teacher-parents meetings and talk to other parents. Most important, talk to your child, Liwag advises. Take note of any changes in his behavior, such as sudden fear of going to school, which could be sign that he is being bullied. Follow up on his comments. If he really doesn't feel safe, consider changing schools. If that's out of the question, talk to the principal. Try to get both sides of the story before demanding any action.
Finally, talk frankly with your child about avoiding students who use drugs, carry weapons or seems to be involved in frequent fights.
4. Be Neighborhood-safe.
"Your child should let you know where he is going even. If he just visiting a friend's house," says Superintendent Ernesto R. Fojas of the Western Police District in Manila. He advises that you should know your child's friends and their parents full names, address and phone number.
Sometimes safety---or the lack of it---is a question of looking out for one another's children. Ask neighbors to call you or the police if they see anything unusual.
Finally, teach your child basic home security rules, such as locking doors. If a youngster must be home alone, instruct him never to say so over the phone. Tell the child to take a message and say that you will call back. Hands-on practice will reinforce good security habits.
IF YOUR CHILD is the victim of a serious crime, seek outside help immediately. For information or referrals, call the child welfare office or police department in your area. Police departments in most Asian countries also have safety information for children and some conduct talks in schools.
"Even if your child is the victim of a seemingly insignificant crime," says Emy Liwag, "take your child seriously and listen to what he is saying." Above all, don't blame your youngster for what happened. No one deserves to be victimized---especially a child.
NINE-YEAR old Tan Chee keong of Ipoh, Malaysia, was waiting for his mother to pick him up at school one afternoon last year, when a man and woman approached him. "Your parents are busy and they asked us to fetch you," the man said. Chee Keong new he shouldn't go with strangers, so he ran toward the school's gymnasium, where he knew other students were gathered. The couple followed the boy, but fled before he reached the gym. Chee Keong was lucky---he sensed the danger before it was too late and knew what to do.
Kidnapping by a stranger is a relatively rare crime, but it does happen. For example, the Royal Malaysia Police says 2189 children were reported missing in Malaysia in 1996, the most recent statistic available, and experts agree that some of these children were abducted. "It is naive to think that children are always safe," says Sharene Wan, director of Safe-T-Child, a private organization in Malaysia that teaches children how to avoid becoming crime victims.
Even in low-crime Singapore, authorities are taking the matter seriously. "Children need to be reminded constantly what to do to prevent and protect themselves," says Veronica Chan, head of crime prevention for the Singapore Police Force.
Indeed, when childrena are taught what to do at an early age, they have a much better chance of staying safe. Says Liwag, "This will go a long way to prevent them being victimized."
While that sounds simple enough, how do you do it without making your child fearful or paranoid? Emy Liwag and Sharene Wan agree that parents can help kids understand what they can do to protect themselves by making a game out of role playing various situations and acting out of the best response.
They also advise parents to do the following:
1. Teach the basics
There are certain things your child must learn as early as possible:
a. His or her full name, address and phone number, including area code.
b. Both parents full names.
c. How to dial the local emergency call number (Unplug your phone and let your child practice).
d. Where to go for help Coursesenu Ibrahim, assistant superintendent at the Crime Prevention Unit of the Royal Malaysia Police, says safe places include a trusted friend's house, the nearest busy shop or restaurant, a school or a police station. Accompany your child along along his route to school, for example, and point out which places are safe to go in case of an emergency.
HOW to say no. "Parents needs to teach children that is all right to say no to an adult if he does not feel comfortable with what the adult is doing to him," Ibrahim says.
If accosted by a stranger, he should yell. "This person is not my father (or mother)!" Kids who simply struggle and scream may appear to be having a tantrum.
This lesson is especially important in Asia because children are expected to obey and respect their elders, and can be easily led on by a strange, says Ibrahim.
2. Be Streetwise
Teach your child to play with a friend or in a group whenever possible. When walking to and from school, friends, houses or parks, kids should avoid dark, isolated areas such as vacant lots or buildings.
If your child senses that someone in a car is following him, he should turn around and head in the opposite direction. The driver is not likely to attract attention to himself by also turning around. Tell your child to stay at least 15 or 20 feet of them from the door of a vehicle if someone stops to talk or ask directions. (Demonstrate this distance) Emphasize that it's okay to say "I don't know" and walk away.
Caution your child to stay alert, walk confidentally and pay attention to his surroundings. Criminal are expert at spotting easy victims---kids who look lost, confused, sad or upset.
"If possible, when riding the bus," says the Singapore Police Force's Veronica Chan," a child should try to sit near the driver. He should be alert, and not fall asleep or get caught up in talking with friends. He should know where he is supposed to stop and go directly home when he gets off the bus.
Children should not wear expensive jewelry or watches. Tell your child to immediately surrender money or any other item that a mugger demands. He should not try to argue. The thief may have a weapon.
3. Be school-smart
While the situation at your child's school may not seem dangerous, don't assume that he is safe there. Attend teacher-parents meetings and talk to other parents. Most important, talk to your child, Liwag advises. Take note of any changes in his behavior, such as sudden fear of going to school, which could be sign that he is being bullied. Follow up on his comments. If he really doesn't feel safe, consider changing schools. If that's out of the question, talk to the principal. Try to get both sides of the story before demanding any action.
Finally, talk frankly with your child about avoiding students who use drugs, carry weapons or seems to be involved in frequent fights.
4. Be Neighborhood-safe.
"Your child should let you know where he is going even. If he just visiting a friend's house," says Superintendent Ernesto R. Fojas of the Western Police District in Manila. He advises that you should know your child's friends and their parents full names, address and phone number.
Sometimes safety---or the lack of it---is a question of looking out for one another's children. Ask neighbors to call you or the police if they see anything unusual.
Finally, teach your child basic home security rules, such as locking doors. If a youngster must be home alone, instruct him never to say so over the phone. Tell the child to take a message and say that you will call back. Hands-on practice will reinforce good security habits.
IF YOUR CHILD is the victim of a serious crime, seek outside help immediately. For information or referrals, call the child welfare office or police department in your area. Police departments in most Asian countries also have safety information for children and some conduct talks in schools.
"Even if your child is the victim of a seemingly insignificant crime," says Emy Liwag, "take your child seriously and listen to what he is saying." Above all, don't blame your youngster for what happened. No one deserves to be victimized---especially a child.
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